A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed

 

🍂 A TRUE FRIEND ACCEPTS WHO YOU ARE, BUT ALSO HELPS YOU BECOME WHO YOU SHOULD BE ~ unknown

small thing #3 - a friend in need is a friend indeed 

🍂  I'm not what you would call a 'touchy feely person'; I'm more of a taskmaster.  I make lists about things I've already done to see them in a list. I think in bullets, I am direct, and an extrovert most of the time. I sometimes just say what others are thinking.  

I am a "one" on the personality enneagram I'm told (I'm sure that's going to cause some of you enneagram experts to put me in a particular profile box) but I am probably better fit for a bag that changes forms.  I want to constantly be changing and redefining myself (for the better I hope).  So the fact that I said I am a one and I want to change should show I can't be defined.  Except I'm constantly critical of myself - oh wait - that's what a "one" is. Here's one Enneagram chart I found:

                                              Photo Source

🍂 I want to think I have some of all of these types that surface at different times as needed.  The problem is that on my own the virtuous parts of these characteristics will only be present in me when I am listening to God.  Thank goodness I am a work in progress- Philippians 1:6 says "And I am confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."  

What if we were stuck in our junk?  What if things we did, ways we responded, words we said - were imprinted on us like labels and tattoos never to be shed?  What if we weren't able to say we were sorry and still be accepted? What an awful world it would be.  

🍂 But what if those hurts we have inflicted on our family and friends over the years (or vice versa) were viewed and used as a means to grow and not repeat them? What if we used them as a chance to strengthen our relationships with the words "I'm sorry for ..." and "I will try not to do that again".  While healing ourselves, at the same time we are modeling the forgiveness and healing of relationships to any who might be watching. 

🍂 I have a best friend from 3rd grade, some from middle school, some I met when I was married and had kids, and some in my later years.  And my grown children have become my closest friends. 

🍂 They are all life giving and affirming to me - they have seen me at just about every part of life that can be. This I know - I can text anytime, ask to meet anytime, walk through and over dirty dishes, dust and messy refrigerators to just hang.  

They know all the dumb things I did as a teenager, ridiculous things as a college student, ignorant things as a new mom and teacher.  

                                                                                            

                                                        coffee with my best friend from 3rd grade                                                                                                                           
They are also my mirrors - they've known me so long - accepting all my weaknesses, celebrating my victories, crying and laughing with me, reasoning through life's issues, commiserating with me when my fat clothes are my only clothes, repeating things they've already told me because I have no memory. 

🍂 And they hold me accountable -if I'm chasing the wrong thing - I can count on them to redirect me - but only if I am transparent with them and open to that correction. I know they love me, I just don't know why.  Literally priceless.   

🍂 Do you have one or two people like that in your life or in a small group at your church?  I would say (remember I am direct) that if you don't, it's time to start reaching out to be that someone in somebody else's life.  

I haven't actually met a person that doesn't need that kind of friendship to navigate life with.  But be guarded about who those people are - my rule of thumb in my personal life has always been to ask myself if I respect the way they live their life.  

That may sound harsh, but over the years you discern that if we truly want to be more like Jesus we need to model our lives after the way He lived His.  He invested most of His time into a small group of people (i.e. the disciples, Mary, Martha, Lazarus).  He cared about them, their relationship to God, and their relationship to the world.  He didn't ignore others, but just prioritized his investment of time.  They, in turn, invested their time into Him. 

The Last Supper- Master of Portillo ~1523

Christ in the House of Mary and Martha - Vermeer ~1655 (Scottish National Gallery)

🍂 One of the many things I love about Jesus is that He modeled for us what to do, knowing we would need to know how to live years later.  Different people, same world.  He knew that "each day would have enough trouble of its own" (Matt 6:34) so we would need people around us to help us through the troubles.  And not just anybody - God tells us in the book of Proverbs repeatedly to listen to wise counsel:

Prov 12:15  "The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man is he who listens to counsel."

Prov 19:20-21 "Listen to counsel and accept discipline, that you may be wise the rest of your days.  Many plans are in a man's heart, but the counsel of the Lord will stand."

Prov 15:22  "Without consultation, plans are frustrated, but with many counselors they succeed."

Prov 12:26 "The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray."

Prov  27:17  "As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend."

Prov 13:20  "Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble."

🍂 But we don't just need our friends when troubles come.  Think about the celebrations in life that are enriched because we get to share them with those we love - weddings, birthdays, job related successes, births, milestones, etc.  Jesus, too, celebrated life events with his friends - weddings, several feasts, and pretty significant meals. The Bible speaks hundreds of times about celebrating and rejoicing, "a time to laugh, ... a time to dance" (Eccles 3:4).  

The Marriage at Cana -Gerard Davis~1500 (The Louvre)

 If loneliness or the blues got you today, reach out to someone today via text, call, email- as a friend just saying "Hey-just checking on you..."  The reciprocity of that small act is a "sweet friendship that refreshes the soul." Prov 27:9

 ✙ Lord, thank you for being our best friend, for showing us unconditional love regardless of what we bring to the table.  Thank you for the joy of my friends - I am truly grateful. Show me someone that is in need of a friend today.  Make me that good friend.  Amen.